I shielded my eyes as the space in front of me lit up, like a thousand fireworks exploding. It was no celebration. The survival pod was now alone among the stars. A captain is supposed to go down with his ship but I'd never believed in self sacrifice. Only a few pods had managed to launch before the engines went critical. I had no idea where they were. The ship had been forced to venture in to an uncharted region in pursuit of the enemy, only to discover an ambush waiting for us. A lucky shot had taken out our shields and damaged the reactor so I had given the order to abandon ship. Each pod could take six people, mine was four short. Not all of my crew had made it. I glanced over at Mallory. She was stood to attention, watching remnants of the Veritas drift out of sight. I had lost good officers. War destroys more than the soul.
  "You're hurt, sir." Mallory's words made me remember how a piece of falling metal had caught my temple as we were getting to the pod. I felt it, dried blood flaking off in my hand.
  "I've had worse." I said, wiping my hand on my torn uniform. It was true enough. I'd been through many campaigns and always picked up an injury or two.
  "What shall we do now, sir?" Mallory asked. My communications officer was surprisingly calm.
  "We wait, Lieutenant. Another ship will have picked up the distress beacon."
  "What if they were all destroyed, sir?" Her voice faltered.
  "The fleet is strong, we may lose some but we always survive."
  "We are winning then, sir?"
  "Unfortunately." I replied. She stared at me, eyebrows drawn together, her eyes piercing mine.
  "You sound as if you're disappointed?" I'd surprised myself saying it. I was out of the battle and suddenly it felt a massive relief.
  "I suppose this encounter has taken more out of me." I said carefully. "Sometimes I think we've all forgotten why we're fighting."
  "We fight to survive, so the enemy knows they can't beat us." Mallory said.
  "I think they must know that by now." I replied. Who was the enemy? The lines were becoming more blurred by the day.
  "Well, we have enough supplies for seven days and the pod's fuel cells can keep the life support systems on for several more after that. It should be time enough for help to arrive." Mallory said. "I'm sure Fleet Command won't want to lose one of its best colonels?" I was good at my job. I had come up through the ranks, no privilege. I had lost count of how many ships I had shot down, prisoners I had taken. Still we kept fighting a never ending war.
  "Get some sleep, Mallory. I'll take first watch." I said. She reclined back in the chair and closed her eyes. I was still running on adrenaline and wide awake. For the first time in a while I was able to think without distraction. The silence, apart from the low hum of the pod's systems, was welcome. I didn't share Mallory's faith in being rescued. The battle hadn't gone well and Fleet Command might cut their losses and abandon the search. I knew how difficult and necessary that decision was. There was nothing out here and as time went on, our chances of being found were reduced. Part of me wanted the darkness to swallow me up but I also had Mallory to consider. Her devotion to duty was admirable, I'd been the same once.

  "Sir, sir?" I was aware of being shaken. I forced my eyes open and found Mallory's hands gripping my tunic. I momentarily forgot where I was until I sat up too quickly and banged my head again on the slanted bulkhead. I sighed as I stood.
  "What is it?" I asked, my throat hoarse. I reached for a water packet and gulped the cool, fresh liquid.
  "The sensors, sir," she pointed to a console.
  "What about them?" I was now focussed, back in control.
  "They've picked up a strange reading," she said.
  "Define strange?" I wasn't in the mood for guessing games.
  "According to the instruments, there could be a life form approaching our position..." She faltered.
  "What do mean, could?" I asked.
  "It's not in the database." I looked for myself and wondered if the sensors were damaged.
  "It could be a glitch with the external sensors. Being fired out of an exploding ship at speed would scramble any system." I said but Mallory didn't respond. I glanced over at her and saw a mixture of fright and wonder on her face. She was gazing out of the window. I joined her and knew why. At first I thought my injury was causing my mind to play tricks but as Mallory was seeing the same thing, I had to accept what it was. In front of us was a large cloud. It was the size of the Veritas in constant flux, creating different shapes. It shifted through every colour of the spectrum in rapid succession.
  "It's beautiful." I said.
  "What is it?" Mallory asked. A sense of uneasiness rose within me. As a high ranking officer, I had been given intelligence about a strange cloud phenomenon that had been seen by several ships. We had been ordered to report any sightings and now it had found us.
  "I don't know but one of Fleet Command's standing orders is to either capture it or destroy it." I said.
  "What's it doing?" The cloud had formed itself into a sphere and began turning, its colours alternating blue and green. I stared at it, reminded of Earth and my mouth went dry.
  "It's communicating with us." I said. Mallory looked at me.
  "Sir, it's just a cloud of interstellar matter." I believed I was right. The cloud was telling us that it knew what we were. Sentience was something that had not been considered.
  "I'm going out there." The words were spoken before I thought about the implication.
  "You can't, sir. If the enemy comes back, you'll be vulnerable."
  "If they come back, we'll be dead anyway. The pod can't withstand an attack." I said. "I need to find out what it is." My mind was made up, despite knowing Mallory had a point. If I was wrong, then I would be dead in an instant. Better that than being left to drift in space. I brushed her objections aside and went to get an EVA suit and I grabbed an extra oxygen tank as a precaution. Mallory watched in silence as I put on the suit and did my safety checks. She couldn't contradict me.
  "What's so special about this?" Her last question made me pause before I made my way to the airlock.
  "The last sighting of the cloud was in the vicinity of the Leontes, before it exploded. Fleet Command blames it for the ship's destruction and wants to know if it's the enemy's new weapon. I need to find out the truth." I clicked my helmet into place. It had been a long time since I had felt the freedom of space around me. Most of the time, I was on the bridge of the Veritas, leaving exploration to the crew. I breathed heavily, getting used to my small artificial environment and made my way to the hatch. As I floated away from the pod. I pressed a button on my glove and my propulsion pack fired into life. I slowly moved towards the cloud. It was still a sphere but as I grew closer, it began to flatten out becoming a ribbon of colour. I stopped, unsure. It started spiralling around me. The pod and the stars became hidden and then I realised why. I was now inside it.

My heart thudded. Despite my fear, I tried to remain calm. I hovered, feeling like the fly caught in a spider's web. Escape would be futile so I decided to see what would happen. I turned off the propulsion pack. A strand of matter snaked out like a giant tentacle and wrapped itself around me creating a bubble. Part of the cloud changed form and I was being watched by the crude outline of an eye. It was unnerving, but its actions planted a seed of intrigue in my mind. I needed more proof so I turned on the microphone in my helmet.
  "My name is Brody, a Human from Earth. Can you understand me?" My voice echoed. The eye gave a slow blink. Another part of the entity became a deep crimson and morphed into a series of shapes that I recognised - the main organs of the human body. It knew.
  "Can you speak?" I trembled inside my suit. I had never instigated first contact with any race and now I had encountered the strangest of all. I waited, nothing happened.
  "I want to know about you." I said. The eye blinked and a second gelatinous strand emerged. It penetrated my helmet and I froze as a presence invaded my mind.
  "I know what you are Brody." A stilted whisper in my head.
  "What are you?" I struggled to speak. There was immense pressure, like being underwater.
  "Life, death, innocence, guilt. I am all things." I didn't understand.
  "How do you come to be here?" I had so many questions but was aware that the distress beacon could bring help at any time. I had a responsibility to Mallory who by now probably thought I was dead.
  "My creation is beyond your mortal comprehension. I was born and left to wander the universe, like a seed that floats on the wind. I know what has gone before."
  "Your knowledge would be very valuable to my race." I said.
  "It would be too dangerous. I do not wish you harm." I relaxed. I'd finally found a species that didn't want to fight.
  "What's it like, traveling in space?"
  "You travel in space."
  "I need a ship, equipment to survive."
  "You are fragile but you are inside me now. You need nothing else." I decided to take a risk and lifted the visor of my helmet, ready for the coldness to rush in and any oxygen to be sucked away but nothing happened. I exhaled before my lungs burst and was surprised to find that I could breathe normally.
  "We are one. Now you can experience what it truly means to see." I could now appreciate the beauty of where I was. My eyes were bombarded with dazzling colour as the cloud shimmered.
  "I have encountered many species and reached out to them but found only closed minds until now. I do not understand why the universe is not at peace?" I was a military man, ready to do my duty for Earth but this alien entity had struck a chord within my inner thoughts. I had been fighting a war that we had lost all perspective on and I was tired.
  "I don't think we'll ever find the answer." I said. "Violence is still written into our DNA."
  "That saddens us."
  "Do you mean there are others like you?"
  "Yes. What is one without another?" It had a point. I was alone. My rank meant I kept a distance from my crew and I had been too busy for distractions. The entity had wisdom.
  "Unfortunately, we still don't seem to get beyond our own selfishness." I said.
  "That is why we remain hidden." I didn't need further explanation, or conversation. The entity shifted and I was able to use my momentum to float around, swimming in a vast ocean of light and colour. I had never felt so at peace, like a baby in the womb. The world outside couldn't touch me and I didn't want the moment to end. This new creature had so much to teach me.
  "You wish to stay?" The question took me by surprise, it had read my thoughts.
  "We come from two different worlds, our species aren't compatible." I said. "We need different things."
  "A common mistake. Every creature needs companionship."
  "I have friends, colleagues. I'm not lonely." I said.
  "Aren't you?" The entity saw through my lie.
  "I should go. Mallory will be wondering what's happened to me." I said, avoiding the question. "We're survivors of a battle after all."
  "I will be here."
  "I never asked your name?"
  "I have none. We do not usually use words, only images. They are easier to transmit over the vast distances we are apart."
  "I see." I couldn't begin to comprehend the amount of mental power needed.
  "Humans will never see unless they change. We have been observing your war and do not understand it."
  "Neither do I, any more." I replied. "They know about you, and you will all be in danger."
  "Why?"
  "There was a ship, the Leontes. My superiors think you were responsible for its destruction." I said.
  "Do you?"
  "I wasn't sure, until now. I believe you are incapable of violence."
  "The ship was already in distress, a casualty of your war. I tried to offer comfort but they could not comprehend, they had only fear. All I could do was to absorb their pain, at the end."
  "You would do that?"
  "We believe in life, even after death."
  "I've fought for many years but lately it's left a bitter taste."
  "Our way is better." It said. "When you communicate there is no problem you cannot solve." I couldn't remember the last time we had actually talked to the enemy.
  "Sometimes the best way is the most obvious." I said. "I must get back to the pod."
  "They will hunt us now." It's words left me cold. I had found new life, different and wonderful but I could sense its fear and it was right.
  "I wish I could stay."
  "I will miss you." I secured my helmet before it opened up like the wings of a butterfly and I found myself back in the stark reality of space. The stars were there, so was the pod. The entity made no attempt to move away.

Mallory was pacing outside the airlock as I got back to the pod and removed my suit.
  "Are you all right, sir? You've been gone over an hour," she said. It had only felt like minutes to me.
  "I didn't realise. What's our status?"
  "We've had no response to the beacon sir." Mallory said as I sat down. I felt relief.
  "It will take time for the signal to reach anyone."
  "We must send another message, sir," she pointed to something on the screen. I glanced over and saw she had pulled up the report of the Leontes.
  "I don't believe the entity is responsible for the Leontes' destruction." I said.
  "Sir, there are other documented reports about a strange cloud that follows ships. I recorded everything that happened out there." She stopped as I turned away. "You're the only person to ever get close to one. Fleet Command must be told."
  "No."
  "Colonel Brody, it is our duty to report what we have seen." She stood to attention.
  "If we tell anyone, then their existence will be in jeopardy. I won't betray them." I said.
  "Them? There's an entire race?"
  "They want to be left alone."
  "You may be my superior officer but this is bigger than both of us. If I have to, I will send the information myself." I had no doubt she would carry out her threat.
  "This is not a debate." I knew that with our information, it wouldn't be long before Fleet Command ordered a mission to locate and destroy the cloud entities. It would be disastrous.
  "You must do this." Mallory moved to the communications panel and I had seconds to decide where my loyalty lay. The time I had spent inside the cloud had been the most enriching experience I'd ever had. I wanted it again.
  "No." I grabbed her, trying to stop her hands reaching the transmit button. She struggled, stronger than I expected. She nearly slipped from my hold but I dragged her away and threw her to the floor. My chest heaved, hands clenched at my sides. I had never struck a crew member before. I tasted bile.
  "Traitor," she said. I stared down at her.
  "I don't follow blindly." I said, hauling her up and using cables to tie her to the chair.
  "You'll be court-martialled for this," she said. She was right. If they found us, I would be made an example of, my career over.
  "It's not a crime to leave a species in peace. We could learn so much but all we want to do is fight."
  "We're here to follow orders. It's not for you to decide." Mallory tried to free herself but her bonds were tight. There was only one action to take.
  "If you experienced what I had, you'd want to protect them too." Her eyes narrowed.
  "What if they are using you, manipulating your feelings so they can attack us?"
  "They're not." I knew I was right.
  "You're not the man I thought you were," she said as I erased all the sensor logs.
  "I never wanted to be put on a pedestal." I'd always been uncomfortable with others looking up to me, Mallory was no exception.
  "You're a disgrace."
  "I'm sorry you can't understand."
  "What? Attacking me, disobeying standing orders?" Mallory refused to meet my gaze.
  "No, for what I'm about to do. You are a principled officer and I respect that but I have to keep knowledge of the clouds secret.
  "What do you mean?" I felt sick. I pressed some buttons on the console beside me. The computer's voice broke the silence.
  "Confirm identification."
  "Colonel Maximus Brody, Fleet number eight, five, seven, delta." My voice trembled.
  "Identity confirmed. Set timer." Mallory was aware of what I was doing. I saw the cable cut into her wrists as she tried to free herself.
  "Set auto destruct in five minutes." I had no choice. If Fleet Command thought I knew anything they wouldn't hesitate to interrogate me as an enemy, I'd seen it done before. By destroying the pod, they would assume we were casualties of the battle. It would be a waste of resources to investigate further.
  "Auto destruct confirmed. Five minutes from mark." The computer began counting down.
  "You don't have to do this." Mallory's face was pale.
  "I won't risk their safety. There's already been too much death."
  "What about ours?"
  "Sometimes you have to surrender to the greater good." I said, hating myself.
  "You've erased the data. I won't say anything." I studied her face. There were no tears. She was professional to the end.
  "You're lying." I said.
  "You're a murderer."
  "For what it's worth, if there was another way I'd take it but I don't want another war." Mallory slumped in her chair, the fight in her was gone.
  "Two minutes." The computer seemed so loud. I could feel the blood pounding in my ears, the adrenaline starting to kick in. It felt longer. Outside, the cloud moved, its ribboned tentacles reaching out to us. My face was wet with tears, the last sounds I heard as the pod exploded was Mallory screaming and my own voice.
  "It was the only way."

I was floating. My body was gone, atoms in the dark but my mind was still aware and it was the strangest feeling.
  "Hello? What's happening?" I had no voice, I was thinking the words.
  "Death is not finite." The cloud's voice was all around me. "Your consciousness was absorbed."
  "Where am I?"
  "You are part of me now, like the others.
  "What others?" I was confused, even in death.
  "Listen." From the swirling colour came the sound of voices. I heard the doomed crew of the Leontes, Mallory's whisper of ‘murderer' and my own words repeated over and over.
  "It was the only way."
  "We will always be grateful for your sacrifice. This way you will be more than a memory. No more fighting, now you are free." The voices faded. "Sleep." I finally understood what peace meant as we drifted among the stars, searching for understanding. My war was over.